Looking Up

UPDATE: I'm still struggling, dealing with my miscarriage... I take it on a day to day basis... I'm not losing hope though because I know that when the time is right then I'll have kids... Now just wasn't the time... I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow for a checkup from the D&C... I hope it goes well... I finally got in touch with JAG about my divorce... They didn't tell me much but he said that I was entitled to money from Steven and that he should be giving me at least $700 a month until the divorce is finalized... JAG told me to write a letter to Steven's commander if he didn't start sending me any money... I don't really WANT anything from him but I need the help so I'm not going to turn it down... I still haven't told him that I'm seeing someone else yet because I was waiting for him to get the divorce papers filed first... We've talked about it and I told him that I hoped he could move on and find someone else... And I know he's on dating websites because I've found him on there just being curious... He's actively seeking another long term relationship and he isn't telling him that he's married... He doesn't even use his real name... He goes by Ray... I'm not even trying to use that against him though... I don't want there to be drama and I definitely don't want to have to go to court... I just want to sign the papers and have it all over with... JAG also told me that if Steven doesn't file for divorce then in October I can go file myself here in Louisiana... But I talked to Steven earlier today and he told me that he is going next week to talk to JAG where he is so hopefully they will be of more assistance than they were down here... I'm not going to play his games though... If he doesn't go talk to them or start sending me the money he's supposed to send me then I'm going to take matter's into my own hands... I'm tired of being walked all over... But off of that subject...


My life is looking up... I mentioned in prior posts that I was seeing someone... He just recently came down and visited me and we had an amazing time together... I have definitely fallen for him... Without a doubt...  I wish that I would've gave him a chance back when we were stationed together... Both of our lives could have been so much different... But I think that if we would've tried to have been together back then it wouldn't have worked out... I was a totally different person back then... I've changed quite a bit over the last couple of years... I'm finally becoming the woman that I want to be... I see a very bright future for me and Michael though... He's asked me to move up to Wisconsin with him in September/October when he gets his own place and I told him that I would... I'm very much looking forward to it... He only left yesterday and I miss him already... I was proud of myself... When we dropped him off at the airport I didn't cry :) I really don't know where I'd be right now if it weren't for him though... I was starting to slip into this depression when I first found out I was going to lose my baby and he brought me back up and was there for me... And he's been there for me everyday since then... Keeping me positive and giving me hope for the future... I would probably be an emotional wreck everyday if I didn't have him and I'm very grateful that GOD answered my prayers and finally sent me such a great guy... I really am starting to believe that he's my soul mate... he's everything that I've ever wanted and so much more and when I'm with him I feel complete like there's no where else in the world I'd rather be... He's my best friend... I see a very bright future for us indeed!!... My heart was broken and tattered and he's taken it and began to help it heal... I trust that he will never hurt me... He already treats me like a queen... I don't think I've ever been with anyone that treated me so good... I'll never let this one get away... I hope that their are many more blogs about him on here... MANY MANY MORE!!! <3